Ceremonies of Reparation: Ceremony #9
Ceremonies of Reparation
For those interested in the
background of these ceremonies, please refer to the September 8, 2021 blog
entry.
Ceremony #9, April 30, 2022
BACKGROUND
It is a drizzly afternoon, and
I walk to the little forest off the main road, near where we lived for 5 months. We had found ourselves here after leaving the
location of ceremony #2 (the south side of Skw’aakw’num (Mt. Sicker)) and kindly
being given temporary space by acquaintances to live and collect ourselves. The land we lived on was agricultural, with a
few trees, several buildings and animal pastures. I grieved the loss of older trees, mountains,
wild running water and forested walking paths.
It was a difficult transition.
My nightly prayers and
offerings were made at the base of one of three trees that I connected with on
the property. I was surprised that
despite the circumstances, I was able to connect with the land, though in an
unexpected way. I would occasionally
walk to a nearby small forest. The path
from home to the forest took me along a busy road which was flanked on one side
by large open farmer’s fields. The view on the walk, however, allowed me to
see all of the surrounding mountains, and gave the strong impression of sitting
in the centre of a bowl.
The little forest was not
public land, but rather, owned by the horse farmer who lived across the street. The dimensions of this little forest knoll were
approximately ½ an acre, at most.
However, each time I stepped inside the forest, I felt more calm,
connected, and peaceful. I soon
discovered a few young vines of Ma Honeysuckle, which added to the magic of
this place.
A letter I wrote to elder Della
Rice Sylvester appears below. An
apprentice and friend recently asked me what this particular location means to
me – what will this ceremony mean to me?
The letter below expresses some of that meaning…
Aug 19, 2019
Dearest Della,
Thank you for all of your support the past few years. While our interactions
have been brief and infrequent, I have valued your insight, wisdom and prayers.
I have been, since I made the request for your permission and blessing, working
on deepening the roots of the medicine I carry on behalf of the land and the
ancestors and those I serve.
I have, however, encountered a couple of challenges.
The first is a deep recognition that rooting my [ancestral] medicine in
a place where there is historical and current day trauma that goes largely
unrecognized and unaddressed is challenging. And has brought an important
question: How do we root our medicine in a land where we [are] guests? Where
there is, as yet, no reconciliation?
We recently moved close to Cowichan Bay. It was not a chosen move (a
long story of my own ancestors and their experiences of displacement and how I
have been living that memory over and over in my own life). In hindsight,
however, I do see it was a necessary move -- a re-aligning.
My body, heart and soul, however, have been thirsty since being here. I
feel the lack of wildness on this and surrounding stretches of land -- the
trees do not remember themselves as a forest, the plants are mostly cultivated.
And even though the "owners" let the perimeters and some areas on
this property go "wild", the land is simply not awake in the way that
wild places are. It is difficult to root here.
There are 3 older trees on the property, planted perhaps 50 years ago,
with whom I can connect. And one of the trees, an Oak, suggested that what I am
feeling is the colonization of the land. That this thirst and disconnection is
a very small taste of what it has been like for the First Peoples here,
elsewhere, & worldwide. I was instructed to feel it, to feel the
land, to go deeper, and also feel the sadness/grief I have for my own ancestors
as well as for all the ancestors and peoples of this land & elsewhere. That
this learning experience is exactly what is called for at this time in my life.
I cannot separate the land from the nature entities, nor from Spirit,
nor from those who live upon or impact it, nor from its history... Whenever I
ask the trees or the Teacher plants whom I work with what they need, their
replies are:
~ spread their messages
~ connect with them often
~ do ceremony and prayer with/for them.
These things I do to the best of my ability. Yet I am aware that to root
medicine within the land, I must be in right relations with the land, which
includes all its inhabitants (plants, animals…), its Original Peoples, and the
ancestors. I know this because I feel it, and because the land whispers it...
As I sat with the Oak the other night, it became apparent that it is important to ask you, in your role here, how do you want guests on this land to root their medicine here, if at all? How do you hope or want guests (settlers) to be in right relations here with the land and her Peoples? ((Is this an ignorant question?))
I wrote the letter after reaching out one
night, beyond the artificial boundaries of the property, to feel the mountains
and the valley-bowl and the little forest during a Prayer Fire. Ma Honeysuckle called back to me from the little
forest, and guided me down, like roots growing into the ground, through the
layers of soil and time. I felt the mountains
as witnesses of the bowl-lands: I felt
the current-day farms and residences in this area, then felt (below/ deeper) the
first clearings and farming of the area, and then felt the original forest and
paths through the region, and the impact and trauma of colonizers reaching here,
taking from here, occupying here. And
then I was stopped – like there was literally a stop sign – that said I was not
allowed to go any further/ deeper. That I
did not have permission to go beyond. The
roots and medicines and history below this level of trauma were not mine to
access without permission, and that permission may not ever come my way. It was not even within my rights to ask. It was not mine to peer into. It was not mine.
Then, I realised that this was the
teaching of Dark Ma, the Dark Mother… There
were interpersonal experiences happening on the land that were echoing the
unearthing of the history and trauma in prayer time. It became apparent that for all of the
surface appearances and distractions that keep us in denial, the trauma and
history held in the land affects us all.
And, it is the responsibility of each person to do their part in
supporting healing.
CEREMONY: March 31st,
2022
In the days leading up to
ceremony, I felt overwhelmed with the number of tasks I had to accomplish in my
“regular life.” The Motanka and Pysanka
were not created until the late hours of the night before, and I’m actually
happy to not have “thought” a lot about it, but rather allowed the symbols and
making to simply flow through my heart and hands.
The Motanka has a spiral
face. The spiral represents time,
cycles, destiny, and connection to the movements of life. In this case, the spiral seemed a potent representation
of dropping through layers of time and also seeing how cycles of trauma repeat/
surface through shared connection in the land.
She wears darker floral colours to honour the teachings of Dark Ma. Her wee antennae connect her to the subtler
realms, helping her to be receptive to hearing/ feeling/ knowing that which may
be hidden or that which she may be disassociated from.
The Pysanka has a depiction of
Mokosh, an aspect of Mati Zemlya, dark moist Mother Earth. She is a symbol of fate and fertility. Her hands are raised as if she is raising
energy from the earth. Her legs are open,
receiving and giving womb blessings to the earth. Her skirt has a form of the tree of life upon
it, with all the teachings that are held by that symbol. On either side of her are depictions of the
deer, who is related to another ancient goddess who protects the forests,
animals, and forest-dwellers. Encircling
the egg is a swirling honeysuckle vine, Ma, and opposite to Mokosh is a symbol
of the spiral (the movement of time and seasons) in a “bowl” surrounded or held
by symbols of mountains.
I entered the little forest during
the drizzly afternoon and paused to greet the entrance tree-guardians. From there, I walked the short path that led
to where the farmer had deposited horse manure from his barn – he leaves piles
strewn on the forest floor in different locations. Observing the mushrooms and plants that are springing
up out of these piles, I was reminded how important fertility and symbiotic
relationships are to the Dark Mother.
I did not meander – I simply walked directly to the two Ma Honeysuckles that I remember. The first in a small vine that twines its way around a little tree. It lives at a fork in the paths. I spent a few moments with this young Ma, and then walked further to the dead tree and the second, somewhat older Ma. The last time I visited her, she was almost dead, her leaves withering and vine drying out. This time, the main older vine was completely dead, yet twined around it was a healthy and vibrant young vine, with more vines springing up from the forest floor nearby.
(picture of older Ma and dead tree companion from 2019)
New growth from young vine.
I greeted Ma, announced my
purpose here today, and requested her support and protection for the prayers
and gifts. Conversations with Ma are
more like transmissions of feelings, images, and thoughts, and are not
necessarily “linear.” I felt received and began the work of digging a small
hole at the base of the dead companion tree, next to Ma’s roots. Upon burial of Motanka and Pysanka, I offered
apologies and gratitude, and took a few quiet moments just to enjoy Ma’s
presence.
Before leaving the small
forest, I stopped at one of the entrance guardian-trees. Another dead vine of Ma twirled up the
tree. I asked and was given one part of
the hanging vine for use in a future Prayer Fire. With this, the ceremony was complete.
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